Eyebrows(e) The Internet. Then I Draw On Dogs.

A while back, I came upon a Pinterest pin that depicted the importance of eyebrows on the human face.

Whew. What a difference some facial fur can make, eh?

And then I found another pin of a dog with eyebrows drawn on and thought, "Well, hey, doesn't that make good sense. Dogs have emotions - maybe they would all look better with eyebrows, too!"

So, while watching my sister's dog for the weekend, I drew some eyebrows on him. Big deal. For the record, Pedro already had a weird fear of markers; it's almost like he knew what was coming. He'll certainly tremble at the sight of a Crayola box from now on.

Regardless, I think Pedro's annoyance is best expressed with eyebrows. Without them, he'd probably resort to pooping on my carpet to show his displeasure. Chihuahuas, I tell you. Chihuahuas.

The Greyt Paint Hunt

Hey, it looks like I've found the 5 gallon bucket of cool-toned grey paint I used in my son's room update (that I couldn't remember or find, for the life of me). It's Benjamin Moore's 'Sidewalk Grey' 2133-60. Whew. That was sort of bugging me.

Words of Wisdom (?) When Travelling to Hot & Foreign Locales.

Hot & foreign. Sounds saucy.

In fact, I am still reeling from the memories of the stifling heat of India on our last trip. Scientist husband would say that I have a tendency to dwell on the negative aspects of everything, but I do have good reason. Very few funny stories have ever come from a purely blissful event; the good stuff comes as a result of mishap and a little suffering. ("Oh, haha! Look at this picture of me in labour - I look hilariously miserable, haha!") Or something like that.

The last time we visited India, it was their winter season. Waltzing into 20 degree weather was no major feat. I had the brain capacity to focus on all the new experiences, tastes, and sights of this beautiful country because I was physically comfortable. This time, however, I was warned that "it's going to be hot" and I should "pack for summer". Ok. I've got t-shirts and flip-flops.

No.

No!

This wasn't "hot". This was suffocating. This was sweating profusely for almost two weeks. We're talking nearly 40 degrees, plus the sticky humidity. But, as I was told, everyone in the country was sweating. No one will care that you smell like a chronically un-showered gym rat. The locals admitted that it was unusually hot ("lucky Canadians, ha-ha"). The only time I stopped sweating, quite literally, was when I was physically inside the shower. I'm actually not even sure that I stopped sweating in there, because the minute I stepped out, it started all over again.

I learned a few things that I thought I'd share. At some point in your travels, you will likely find yourself in my shoes (slimy flip-flops) and you'll need solutions. Not just for keeping comfortable in the heat, but also for avoiding intestinal slaughter. Just trust me on this one.

• Talcum (baby) powder. If you didn't bring some, buy some. Now. Bathe in it immediately after you shower. Show no mercy and discard all shame. Put it everywhere. If you decide to wear black (and, you shouldn't ... it's freaking hot out), make sure you check your look in the mirror for any embarrassing traces of powder on your clothes. Like near your butt crack.
• Drink loads of water. I know, it sounds obvious. But when you're sweating constantly, the amount of fluid your body needs to replenish can be deceiving. Drink only bottled water. You want to feel like you fit in and live like a local? Then welcome salmonella and god-knows-what-else into your gut ... and out the end for days to come.
• White people: sunscreen. Seriously. There's nothing funnier for locals than a pasty person gone pink. Except for a pink person with diarrhea. See above.
• Remember those paper fans you used to make in elementary school? Make one now and carry it in your pocket.
• Wet a scarf or rag and tie it around your neck. You'll probably look like an ass, but you'll feel better.
• If you get intestinal issues (didn't I tell you to stay away from the lettuce?), fast for a day. Drink lots of water. You might need an anti-biotic if it persists for a few days. In India, getting your hands on antibiotics is easy and inexpensive. If you need other medicines, you may as well grab those, too. Like bismuth. 
• The power is probably going to go out and the ceiling fans and A/C will stop running. Do yourself a favour and just stop moving.
• Don't wear TOMS shoes; they have no ventilation. I know that you are a globally conscious hipster and you also like comfortable foot wear, but swamp foot is gross. Wearing those puppies in tropical weather will make you feel like a wet seal on a Slip N' Slide.

Obviously, you'll be drawn to places where the air conditioning is in full swing - like malls, taxis, and some restaurants. Luckily for this girl, the rains finally came on our last day in India. I may have danced. And, suddenly, I totally understand this:

Not completely. But enough.

Little Sir's Woodland Retreat

My son turned two in April and has already ditched one side of his crib for a more grown up sort of bed. And, pathetically, I'm just now putting the finishing touches on his "nursery". Maybe I'll have a sophisticated tween room complete by the time his wedding rolls around.

 Before my son was born, I had a clean slate of a bedroom to do pretty much anything I wanted. The walls were purple when we bought the house, but it was a shade that could easily be covered by two coats of paint. How I wish I could remember the exact make and name of the paint we ended up using. But, I do know we purchased five whopping gallons of it. We figured we would use it to paint other properties and it sure did come in handy. On the chip in the hardware store, the colour was pretty grey, with some subtle cool blue undertones. Once painted on the wall though, it became a lot more blue, especially since this particular room faces north. As an aside, this room will always remind me of Springsteen's "Darkness on the Edge of Town" because a) I painted the whole room to that album, and b) I've turned a few songs off that album into soothing lullabies. Parenting: I'm doing it right.

 Anyway, I was really digging the idea of a calm woodland theme, without all the matchy-matchiness of store bought bedding and it's coordinates. Honestly, the inspiration came from my son's first toy: a free brown bunny stuffie that I received when I completed the baby registry at Sears. So, I started with the little brown bunny, threw in some birds, and a little texture.

Colour palette.

Second-hand store dresser that doubles as a changing station; tiny mirrors can make changing diapers more fun for baby; a deer head toothbrush holder became a pacifier hanging station.

Simple bedding and a soft flokati underfoot; personalized art and baby's portrait hang over the crib.

A birdie friend watches over baby from his little house.

Nothing Like A Cheap Knock-Off

When it comes to saving money on a project, I have very little shame. I will sacrifice style a little if I think the monetary savings is worth it. So, when I saw a preserved boxwood topiary on a Joss & Main event that looked strikingly similar to the one Kristen and I made, I was thrilled. Although the topiary from J & M is made from real preserved boxwood and ours was made from plastic. Big deal. I think ours looks just as good and that would have saved us a whopping $20! That's half price!

La Piece De Resistance

Still haven't found the "off" switch on the French mode.

Remember when I ordered this light fixture from Joss & Main? No? Well, it was probably a few months ago and I've been sort of wondering where the heck it's been. As it turns out, I didn't set up e-mail notifications for Pak n' Ship, where I receive my American mail. So the package has been sitting there for quite a while. Oops. I'm totally going to be that mom who forgets to pick her kid up from track practice.

The good news is that I got my hands on the package (*snicker*) today and am pleased to report that it is everything I hoped it would be. I haven't yet installed it, but it's not dinky or cheap-looking, so I'm happy! So far, so good. Then I had a "whomp, whomp" moment when I realized that the shade is a little beat up. In case you're curious with what the "whomp, whomp" moment sounds like in my head, it goes a little something like this:

While it's not a huge deal, I'm still stuck as to how I will straighten the drum shade out before I can hang it. Unfortunately, the crumpled portion is actually at the front of the shade, and not near the seam (where I could hide it by facing it to the back wall).

Yay!

Noooo!

Once I get that little problem fixed, I'm going to take on the terrifying task of removing the old dining room fixture and installing this one. By that, I mean, I'm going to call my mom and see if she'll supervise because I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to electrical things. Playing with wires has always scared me and I don't want to set the house on fire.

Did I also mention that the 'Sarfraz Kilim' rug I ordered from Joss & Main was also waiting for me at Pak n' Ship? Yay! I ordered the rug on a whim since I've been looking for something brighter and bigger than the brown/black one we already had in the living room. Knowing that it was pure wool and not the padded variety with the sticky tread, it is pretty much what I was expecting.

And it's HUGE. I'm talking 9'7" x 6'7" huge. I still can't believe that a wool rug this size was only $50. I love Joss & Main for hosting events with a wide range of prices and styles! That's enough plugging for J & M for today ...

Le Voyage Avec L'Enfant

I half-heartedly tried to use my French language skills while briefly visiting Paris on our way home from India. Le Parisien way of speaking is a little intimidating, I have to admit. It's much more refined and pretty sounding than the French-Canadien version of the language I am used to speaking and hearing. But, Mom and I managed to strike up a lively (and, as it turned out, slightly creepy) conversation with a French market merchant while shopping for vintage wares. Those French men love to love, I suppose. Mom scored a "caresse gratuit" (free hug). Whoever says that nothing in this world is free is clearly giving dignity too much credit.

After heading over to India last year with both kids in tow, I'll admit that I was dreading the flight portion this time around with my two-year-old. From Canada, we headed to Germany, then on to India. That's 20+ hours of actual confinement in an aircraft with a bunch of strangers and a small person who likes to spit and poop his pants. Go ahead - I'll let you think about that for a minute.

The iPad was charged. The snacks were packed. I had a book, headphones, and some crayons on board. There was also Ativan in my bag and I knew damn well that wine would be served with dinner. I'm not an animal - I made sure to apologize to my surrounding passengers before takeoff and constantly told my son not to "be that baby on the plane". Luckily for us, he likes to eat and sleep. And poop his pants, but there's nothing we could change about that at the time. On the way home, I thought he kept filling his diaper, but I eventually learned that it was the stinky cheese from Paris that Mom had in her duty free bag.

So, my advice to parents who are flying with children. Here it is. Little nuggets of wisdom that will get you through tiny domestic flights or mind-numbing long international hauls ...

First, you need to come to terms with the idea of confinement. You can't leave, so suck it up and deal with the fact you've made the decision to fly with children. You're that person and you're going to get stink eye from time to time.

Here's a list of things I highly recommend that you bring with you. You'll want to make adjustments to this list, depending on the number and ages of children you are travelling with.

Multi-sided crayon.

• Headphones that fit the child properly. We had good luck with Sony's padded travel headset. Most earbuds are way too big for children and probably uncomfortable for you, too, after a while anyway.
• A multi-sided crayon. What the hell is that?, you ask. Instead of having a load of tiny wax projectiles getting lost in your bag, try to get your hands on one of two of these (see image). You can easily make a similar one yourself. I'd show you how right now, but I'm pretty tired and don't feel like it.
• iPad. I know that's a pretty pricey thing to "need" to keep a kid entertained, but man ... you won't regret it. Just make sure that any Apps that you download (for free, obviously) can be used without an internet connection. Always keep the iPad on airplane mode when you're in the air.
• Snacks. I know they serve food on flights, but most kids end up being hungry when no snack cart is in sight. Personally, we love Buddy Fruits or similar products. They are simply pureed fruits, veggies, and sometimes grains, packed in a recyclable pouch. No preservatives, added sugar, or salt. They also don't need to be refrigerated until they are opened (they don't last very long once opened - they're really delicious).  

Healthy and convenient snack option.

• Wet wipes & hand sanitizer. If you have a baby, you know how baby wipes can save your sanity in a ton of situations. Even if you aren't travelling with kids, I highly recommend bringing wipes & sanitizer with you. The world is a filthy place. And you never know when a jam packet will explode in your bag.

With any luck, you'll manage to actually get seats together and you can let your little monsters stretch out and annoy no one but yourself. If you're flying with Lufthansa, you might end up on the other end of the plane, faaaar away from them, and that's ok, too. (Sorry about the jab, Lufthansa, but you made me stabby and I had to be sane or you might consider me some sort of irate passenger and kick me off the flight). 

All in all, it was a great trip. So great that I've already decided that the next one will be an adult-only all-inclusive one.